I wept for your loneliness
But it was for nothing.
Because nothing was what you wanted.
A pretty nothing hiding behind bright, round eyes
With lips that smile but never speak.
Never moving your soul to terror,
Never inviting you into the depths,
Never inviting you to defeat the darkness.
But only laughing — vibrantly, innocently.
Laughing at your wit, enthused by your charm,
So that your eyes can shine with the faces
Of the people you never thought you could be
And see yourself magnified like the rays of the sun shining
Over a cold snow scattered atop the grass.
The kind of laugh that offers you comfort when you retreat
To your dark bedroom, listening to what the ceiling has to say.
So that you can reflect your bright nothingness back,
Blinding it into blasphemy
As you curl your sheets beneath your chin,
Never again feeling them wet from tears,
And safely sink into your blissful nothing — drowning,
Where your soul needs no baring, crippled into a comfortable nothing.